Teen Abortion Issues

I am 18 years old and I had an abortion 4 days ago. Before I fell pregnant I was a happy young outgoing person. I didn’t think anything like this could happen to me…I was wrong.

Having a child didn’t seem like the end of the world when I found out I was pregnant. After taking a test I was happy, overjoyed even. I was unsure about whether I could take care of a child, but I was sure my parents would support any decision I made and my boyfriend of 2 years would be there for me.

I told my parents a week after I found out, and my boyfriend knew 2 days before them. My boyfriend soon became my ex-boyfriend, and I found out that his mother had arranged a marriage for him…his soon-to-be wife is 3 weeks pregnant.

My joy was fading fast.

My parents took the news well, which surprised me. However, they basically told me to have an abortion…their reasons: I was too young, not in a committed relationship, they couldn’t afford to help out, adoption in their eyes was not an option, and if I had the baby my father would move out.

I felt pressured into going to the abortion clinic the next week. It was no better when we got inside. It felt wrong, and every nerve in my body told me to run, but I stayed for my parents. There were 5 other women in the room with me, all for the same reason i was there…it felt too impersonal, too medical like these things happen every day. I was ashamed to be there, but having other women going through the same thing on the same day felt comforting.

I don’t remember much of what happened for the time I spent in the clinic, which I feel doesn’t help in the healing process now…it feels more like a dream that happened to someone else.  I would like to say I regret my “choice” to have an abortion, but part of me feels it was the right thing to do…the other part of me is mixed up. I wanted this child with all my heart. At the moment all I feel is pain, and I’m in a constant state of agitation. I don’t want to stop because I don’t want to think about what I did. I will now always wonder if i could have taken care of my baby, if my baby felt pain, if it knew what I did.

To all teenagers who are thinking of having an abortion…think about afterwards, think about how you will feel. Most of all don’t be pressured into making any “choice.” When I chose to have an abortion I was 9 weeks and 5 days into my pregnancy. It broke my heart, and I want my baby to know that he/she was wanted and will always be loved…

An abortion can’t be undone and should never be forgotten. I have learned a much needed lesson from this.