Teen Abortion Issues

I am currently 19, almost 20. When I was 16 I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I had been dating for three years and we were engaged. We told my parents; and my dad freaked out, keeping me up into the early hours of morning telling me that I would make him look bad if I had my baby and that I was stupid and dumb and too immature to take care of a child. After two weeks of being yelled at and ridiculed I had my abortion.

I never got to tell my ex’s parents that I was even pregnant because my dad was forcing me to abort. The day of my abortion I was scared as hell. I didn’t want to do it but couldn’t not do it because of my father. I couldn’t look at my baby on the screen when they took the picture because I already felt guilty. To this day I HATE myself, and when I see others with their babies I still cry. I know that I am going to burn in hell for what I did, and I regret every day that has gone by that I didn’t keep my baby. She would’ve been 3 and a half today. I imagine all the time on how much my life would be different and how I know that I would’ve been a great mommy. 

I think sometimes about if I ever get pregnant again how I am going to act. I think I’m going to be very scared because no one knows of the past; and although it will be my firstborn, it will not be my first. I wish everyday since that horrible day that I hadn’t done it and I had my baby today. Telling you this is bringing me to tears again and reminding me how much this really hurt. My current boyfriend and I are going for a test tomorrow to find out if I am pregnant, and I know that his mom is going to tell me to get an abortion or she’s going to kick us out. I’m keeping my baby, and NO ONE is going to interfere with our lives and tell us what to do.