i was 16 when i got pregnant with my boyfriend that i was with four years but no longer with him. when i found out i was pregnant i couldnt believe it so first thing i did was call my boyfriend he was in shock too! and i called my mom she didnt believe it either so she took me to a clinic and they confirmed positive! i didnt know i was at a abortion clinic getting my pregnancy test done though. she was in shock too! calling me boyfriend and his parents. i was worried but at the same time happy because it was his baby and part of me. a blessing from god. then i thought he was going ot be there for me through my pregnancy but i was wrong thats when he turned his back on me and started rejecting my calls on and on…it was sad because i would cry every night about the way he was being when i needed him the most i felt like in a dark hole not knowing what to do because there was no one preson supporting me not even my mom..she keeped on presuring me to have an abortion and everybody else. not knowing she was wrong she would tell me that it was an unwanted baby that she was not going to help me! it those things she would say to me would break my heart but i wouldnt let her know. so wanted to basically force me to do it by making an appointment but they told her i have to approve to it for them to do it.. so i said no the first time! the days passed..and passed waiting for my boyfriend to realize what he was doing wrong but nothing we even went to his house to go look for him and me and my mom saw him and his dad getting out of the car so we call the house his dad answered and he denied my boyfriend because he was hiding from me. while he would be with other womens and not have excuses for that. so i found out he was cheating on me with his women i got her number and she was nice to me, she did not know anything about me then i told her what was happening she got really mad at him for doing what he was doing to me since he would not even answer my calls..she would call him and he would answer..that was soo dissapointing..so she even recommended me to have an abortion and time passed and passed and slowly and was brainwashed really good that one day i called my boyfriend and asked him do you really want this baby? and he said no! i felt like my blood went cold! when i heard that! so later weeks i called him again and told him that this was the last time he was going to hear about his baby. i still waesnt sure if to the abortion though because something deep down inside was telling me NOT TO DO IT! but then my mom took me to her friend well my best friends mom which she endedd up convincing me..so i took the decision before to do it ONLY if it was not a baby yet..bacause i didnt want do it if it was already breathing with his little heart..but i was so dumb i believed everyone when they told me that it was nothing yet that i was not formed..that IT WAS NOT A BABY! even the nurses at abortion place told me that! BUT THEY LIE BECAUSE OF THE MONEY! so when i was on my way to the abortion place with my mom there was posters by saying give this bay a name two times! it was god telling me not to do it there but i just ignored it. then at the corner at the abortion palce there was people with gods cross and signs saying do not abort! when i saw that i broke down crying specially when i waled in there i felt so dirty because it was start of one of my biggest mistake of my life..throwing away a life god put in my womb. i was 7 weeks pregnant..but for them that is nothing is not a bay for them yet. so after had the abortion everything was ok at first..i didnt feel sad at first..until one day for curiousity i went online and put on google 7 weeks pregnant and saw pictures of a 7 week old fetus that had its heart working already…etc..that just BROKE MY HEART IN PIECE AND GOT ANGER IN MY HEART! I FELT SOO STUPID!! I JUST COULDNT BELIEVE THAT I KILLED MY OWN BABY! i would pray to god everyday to forgive me for what i did if i could take it back i would!! my mom now sees the pain and the consequenses that this abortion brought me. she now regrets it too and apologizes too me! and god! but still cannot forget about it! is been like two years passed and i still cannot forget may 25th. i hate to think what my baby would of look like? who was that baby? his laughs? if it was a boy or girl? how happy we would been together..now is hard for me too see pregnant women and abortion stuff. or when i see a baby i get sad because i could of had mine. or everytime i see my baby sister i see her as my daughter i never had sometimes i think im looking at my baby thats in heaven. i also had dreams with it where my baby was smilling at me because he had forgiven me. i see it this was A BABY IS A BLESSING NOT A CHOICE! we shouldnt make the decisions if we are not sure of it because if theres something deep down inside your heart thats telling you whats right and wrong. plus theres health risks of abortion also mentally…im still trying to get over it but the hardest thing is to forgive myself and makes me angry that i cant have my baby in my arms now that is gone. i just pray to god to bless me with another baby that will make soo happy! and give me the chance to mend my mistake. also dont listen to other people telling you to have an abortion because in the long run they are not going to be the ones suffering from the regret and hurt. i have cried for this mistake until i had no tears. is really painful! dont do it! REMEMBER A BABY IS NOT A CHOICE!