Zigga
I found out I was pregnant four months ago. I thought that I wouldn’t be because when my boyfriends condom broke, we got the morning after pill the next day. When my period hadn’t come, I began to worry but my boyfriend continued to tell me that everything was alright. I continued to worry and eventually got a home pregnancy test. It confirmed my fear. I was pregnant. At first I just cried and cried. I was in college, had my whole life ahead of me, and didn’t want to let my family down. It hit me so fast and so hard that nothing could comfort me. I talked to my boyfriends mom about my options, she had been through the same thing when she was my age and had decided to keep it. She strongly advised that I should get rid of it because she could tell that neiter one of us was ready to take care of a child. Later that week I called the local planned parenthood that was near my college and I had my baby aborted. I was so early into it that I was able to take the two pills to abort so it was easier on me but everyday I feel as though something is missing. There are nights when I cry myself to sleep. My boyfriend, who had promised that this wouldn’t change our relationship, is now out of my life. I found out the hard way that he wasn’t right for me after the cheating and lying. Some days I think it was okay to get rid of the baby because it’s father wouldn’t be in it’s life and if by some chance he was, he wouldn’t be the father I would want for my baby. Most days I can’t deal with the decision I made. I had such strong beliefs that abortion was wrong. I sometimes can’t even look at myself in the mirror. My life has changed completely. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t tell my baby that I’m sorry. I will have to forever live with the idea that I killed my first child.

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