sissy
I knew I was pregnant. Right after me and my boyfriend of a year and a half had unprotected sex. Two or three weeks after I had him go out and pick up a pregnancy test. I waited until the morning to take it, hiding it under my shirt as i went up the stairs, towards the bathroom. Within seconds two pink lines appeared. All i thought was oh no……. I’m 16 and pregnant. I turned on the shower and sat down in the tub. Something told me everyone was going to love this baby. But I wasn’t ready. My boyfriend lived with me and my mother. Both of us were going to face homelesses. I went down the stairs and told him and he couldnt believe it, but the next morning we both began to accept it. He fell asleep with his hand on my abdomen. At that moment I wanted my baby so badly. We named him or her Riley. I told my mother after christmas that i was pregnant. She told my brother and my sister and made me take another pregnancy test and bring it out to show them. Another two pink lines. My boyfriend was made to stay downstairs. I told them I wanted to keep my baby. They are all pro-choice, so they agreed I would carry to term. My mother would not let me make decisions regarding my pregnancy. Where to deliver, trying to exclude my boyfriend from the doctors appointments. She said she wanted to adopt my baby. I told her i was thinking about abortion. My mother and sister began telling me at least an hour every day how it was wrong. I was called me a murderer, a lot. I was thrown out, Because i wouldnt let my mother go back with me during doctors exams. I was thrown out for having doubts. My boyfriend went to live with his dad and i with my grandparents eventually. At 7-8 weeks along i went to planned parenthood with my boyfriend. He wished I had walked up and left, not gone through with it. And i do too. I waited for 7 hours watching women go back to have the procedure done. I was the last one. I was taken into a room and told i needed my pants off. The nurse left for a few minutes so i could get undressed. I looked under a large paper towel and saw what they were going to use. I sat down. I should have put my pants back on, taken the iv out an walked away. But i didnt. I couldnt be a mother. There was a little metal door on the wall in front of me for “biohazards” to go. Thats were theyd place my baby… Babies… The ultrasound tech informed me there were two. The first ultrasound I had was so early only one was found. All I saw on that monitor was my boyfriend, our baby. Ive never told anyone that. They gave me anesthesia. I cried. As soon as i got in my boyfriends car to leave the cramps started. I felt so bad for him because I couldnt control my own screaming. They said it wouldnt hurt. They lied. I bled, so much. And the pain continues today, after 3 months. Physically mentally and emotionally. And I am so, so sorry.

Be Sociable, Share!

Comments are closed.