I was only 14 when i realized that I was pregnant. I had been with my boyfriend for a long time and we had been fooling around and then . . . he left me. It was hard enough to have to deal with losing him ,but after about a month and a half my chest was swollen and hurting a lot, and a few days later i was throwing up and feeling really nauseous. I remember lloking at that little test and freaking out. I wasnt afraid to have the child growing in me, but I was afraid of my family and what the would do to me and how they would treat me and look at me. I told my ex boyfriend I was pregnant with his child and asked him what I should do. He told me to do whatever I wanted he said that it wasnt inside him so he had no right to make a decision, I think his lack of csaring was when I first realized I was in this absolutly alone. I remember the day I got my abortion. I felt so bad and the nurses kept saying are you sure you want to do this? that was the hardest part for me. Because i didnt want todo it. But my mom had told me that if i kept it and had it she would make me let it get adopted and that she wouldnt help me at all. I remember weeks prior to the abortion I would get in the shower and sit cause i didnt have the energy to stand and id just cry and tell the baby that was inside me growing how aorry I was and how I didnt want to but I didnt have a choice. I regret it no so much and I wish that I could have had the strength tp stand up for myself and to not acre so much what my family thought of me. I still find myself crying all the time and I know in my heart that I’ll never get over this. Ill never forgive myself.

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